Thesis Project-52 Days

After a brief hiatus, I'm back and would like to share my recent insights and challenges.  I've run into conflict.  The conflict is mainly with tense and perhaps a little POV.  After much deliberation and consideration as to where to steer my work, I was able to grasp some helpful direction from a writer's blog that I follow with which provided me some helpful ideas.  My tense issues have much to do with the way tension is portrayed in the story.  There are some scenes that call for more immediate emotion.  There are a few options when writing this and the one solution, for me, is writing it in what Kim Davis refers to as historical present.  The tricky part of the technique is pulling off right.  It's a matter of craft and basic trial and error (which is expected with any rough 1st, 2nd or 3rd draft).  In any event, I feel that I have come to a middle ground with this tense conflict and have been in the process of switching the tense (from past to present) within my current manuscript.  I've found that the emotion is so much more immediate.  I want to bring the reader into the terror and panic I felt when the gun is pointed at my temple at the age of four.  Not only does the present tense make it validating for me (as a release of the repressed memory) but it also has the potential to bring my reader to a place where they can become 1) empathetic and 2) compassionate for this child (me).  I'm letting my work brew itself into what it needs to be.  Nothing else.

Sometimes I have glimpses of memory that'll flash before me when I'm randomly tending to my daughters.  Some don't make sense at all while others are like the missing corner to a map.  Awareness is key.  Insights will surface at odd moments.  All I can do is watch, listen and learn from my own inner workings. Memoir restores the soul and opens windows of thoughts.  One must always be open to the process.  

I've recently become interested in regression therapy.  I've struggled to 'remember' traumatic events in my childhood and have come to realize that they are deeply embedded in my subconscious.  I can remember them with the help of a trained hypnotherapist, which is why I have chosen to undergo such treatment.  I need to recover these missing thoughts and I know that I will accomplish it through the constance of writing and the peeling away of layers of my great big onion through regression.  This is a journey and I welcome every bump, ditch, plateau and plane.

Thank you for reading.  So long for now and just keep writing...