So I wrote a novel. Yes, that's correct, I wrote a novel! It was my creative Thesis for my MFA from National University. It is provisionally titled 'Confessions of a Legal Secretary' and I say this because there is a pretty good chance of it changing slightly or entirely. I don't know yet. The creation of this blog was in part due to the inevitable struggles, epiphanies, moments of doubt, confidence and overall energy that goes into creating a story (or remembering an old one) or just about anything that you consider your own creative inclinations. So now what? I don't know, I'm figuring that out as I go along.
As of now, I walk along the margins of my novel deciding whether to delete an entire chapter or one or two or more, add more to an existing one or I ponder revamping the plot entirely. Peeking over it's rim could not be more of a daunting task even when you can say to yourself, 'Look at that, I wrote a novel. Seriously?' It's a never ending task, the one of editing and getting critiqued on the current manuscript (if you're lucky enough to get some good readers. I have a few in my pot of 'writer gems'-you know who you are). The pages remain in draft form. The margins are a reminder of the work ahead because, as it turns out, it is up to the writer's characters to decide when and how it ends. It's a balancing act in and of itself, the keeping up with the writing, the balancing of all things simultaneously happening and the constant chattering of characters that are pulling at your creative threads. Yes, it is a serious job to classify yourself as a 'writer' because if you ask most of us why we do what we do, I can almost guarantee that you'll get a response of 'because I need to.' Period. During the short time of my getting the novel out of my mind and onto a clean sheet, I was lucky enough to take a Master Novel Writing course with Mediabistro where I got to meet a slew of fabulous writers and be taught by a very insightful and outgoing Senior Editor at Random House. The class was worth every dime and the guidance I received for my novel was even better. We even started a FB page to keep in touch. So now it's all up to me to get my fingers to strike the keyboard.
It took my most of my graduate school time to arrive at the label of 'writer' not because I didn't think it was a worthy one but more because I didn't feel worthy enough as a writer to be called one. I believe that most of us go through this phase, that is unless you're a 'full of yourself' kind of person. So no, I didn't adopt the label until I was halfway through writing my Master's creative thesis. Really! This job of 'writer' is a lonely one if you will and sometimes we need to step away from our creative work in order to appreciate all the energy and creativity that we've invested in it. I don't call this writer's block but a writer's slum (I guess it helps my psyche a bit more to view it this way. Anything to trick the mind, right?!). I'll walk the margins of my pages and sure, I'll stumble here and again but then I'll dusk myself off and continue on the journey that has lead me to where I'm at so far. Balance will never be perfect and the novel will never feel 'complete' but I think that it's all worth it because I'm doing what I love and well, that's all that matters. Keep writing and forget the rest :)
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